Saturday, May 29, 2010

Scary Flower

I have issues with certain types of flowers. Some flowers totally freak me out. I don't know what it is about these flowers in particular but they will never ever be in my home or garden.

The first flower I dislike because it weirds me out is this one:
The Iris. Hate it. It looks like a dragon ready to eat me.




I also have problems with this one:It's not a great pic...but it's a Yucca plant. This plant is scary. Even the name describes it. Yucca.

I have issues with almost all succulents and cacti. If I go into a store and they have those mini cacti in pots, I walk waaaaay around them. You're not touching me with your hideous prickly hairs, nasty plant. Here are a few...

This one is going to grab me as I walk by.




Disgusting.

I get the heebie-geebies just looking at the fat leaves and gross colour. I can barely look at my own computer screen right now.
I'm going to barf.





There are other flowers I hate as well. For various reasons.

I hate gladioli...These poor flowers aren't scary to me, but they are in every single funeral flower arrangement ever. Poor things. Everyone associates them with death. They'll never grow in my garden.

I also strongly dislike begonias. They make me shudder.


But my most hated flower in the world, I don't even know the name of. I just know it by seeing it.
You see, growing up in south London in our family home, my sister and I shared a room. This room had three pink walls and one wall of wallpaper. And what was on this wallpaper?? Flowers. All in different shades of pink -- a tone on tone sort of affair. Some of the flowers were happy nice flowers but there was this one flower in the wall paper that my sister and I HATED. It was so freaky. We wouldn't touch it on the wall. It was the one that grew tentacles out of itself at night and wrapped them around our tender young necks and strangled us. It was the one that bugs poured out of and snakes slept in. It was evil. We hated that flower and so we hated that wall paper.

The funny thing about it was these feelings were generally unsaid between us. It was just understood. We hated the bad flower. Recently, we spoke of it. That dang, nightmare creating flower. And we laughed our heads off. And our mother....she thought we'd gone crazy. But she did remember the wallpaper.

So my childhood has definitely altered any normal feelings towards flowers. I am a freak. I blame in on the wall paper of 26 Fennell Cres. I may seek therapy about this. Help us all if the scary flower really does exist.

7 comments:

  1. I thought I was the only one who hated succulents!!...like "yuccas", the name is truly disgusting! (It sounds like they should be delightfully dainty and attractive, but they are all fattly moist and gross!!)
    I agree with you on the iris...they clearly have an attitude. How come no mention of snapdragons?

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  2. I almost mentioned the snap-dragon, Mrs. L., 'cause really it's just a scary mini dragon ready to eat me, but was too embarrassed to admit it.

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  3. Thank you so much for putting words to my feelings.

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  4. so funny! the first one is very scary. i should send you some cactus pix from arizona, mark stood beside one that must have been 50-60 feet high..scary indeed!

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  5. Oh I agree...seriously some of those are barf worthy!

    Love the wallpaper story and your crazy quirks!

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  6. I have hated yucca plants since the day I was 6 years old and learning to ride a two-wheel bike. I got on the bike, rolled down the driveway, and fell off -- right into a yucca plant. The thing skewered me. I have been afraid of them ever since. And when I saw the gladiolas, I thought the same thing, Funeral flower right there. I dislike calla lilies and flowers fo that ilk because they look obscene.

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